How to Spot an Abusive Relationship

Many abuse victims live in a state of denial; they are not even aware that they are being abused. Although they are not happy in their relationship, they press on in the hope that “things might one day get better.” Every time their partners make an empty promise that “such behavior will never be repeated again,” they believe, only to be betrayed again and again and again.

Before you break up such a relationship, you must know for sure that you are in an abusive relationship. How do you find out for sure whether you are a victim of abuse? The following information might be of some help to you.

The Battered Woman 

1. Does he beat you? 

Abused women usually deny the abuse by saying, “He didn’t really hit me; he only shoved me.” If he hits you, beats you, kicks you, slaps you, shoves you, pushes you, spanks you, or shows any such sign of physical violence, it IS physical abuse. And you don’t have to put up with it! 

2. Does he insult you? 

If your spouse or partner calls you names, criticizes you continuously, makes fun of you, belittles your beliefs, talks in a derogatory manner about your friends and relatives, you are a victim of verbal abuse. 

3. Is he too possessive? 

Possessiveness has often been mistaken to be a sign of undying love. If you spouse or partner can’t let you go out of his sight and doesn’t even allow you to see your parents and friends, he is being abusive. He is trying to control your life, preventing you from living your life as an individual. 

4. Does he force you to have sex with him? 

Even if you are his wife, you have the right to refuse sex. And if your partner forces you to try sexual experiments that repulse or terrify you, it is a sure sign of sexual abuse. 

The Battered Man 

Being a man doesn’t save a person from being abused, and many men don’t even know that they are being abused. 

1. Does she seem mad all the time? 

You never mean to upset her, yet somehow you always seem to be in the wrong. In spite of being so careful, she not only gets angry with you, but blames you for “starting everything.” Moreover, she withholds affection from you “just to teach you a lesson.” If this is you, you are being abused. 

2. Does she insult you? 

Is she belittles your religious faith and your long-standing belief systems, your cherished friendships and family bonds, your career, your achievements, your likes and dislikes, and everything about you that makes you what you are, then she is definitely abusing you. And she is adding fuel to the fire by spending your money as she likes and getting mad when you question her about it.  

3. Does she control you? 

She doesn’t allow you to visit your parents and gets mad when you go out with the “boys.” She restricts your movements and prevents you from making contact with the external world. If this is your spouse or partner, she is being abusive. 

5. Does she attack you? 

Physical abuse usually follows verbal abuse. If your spouse or partners beats, kicks, pinches, slaps, scratches, and at the same time screams as if she is getting the beating, you are really being badly abused! 

No law in the world, man made or spiritual, forces you to say in an abusive relationship. Once you have discovered that you are in an abusive relationship, break up and run away as fast as possible. Don’t listen to your partner’s sweet words or empty promises to change. Abusive partners never change!