3 Common Divorce Pitfalls

There are many side effects of divorce.  While you may seem to have all of them, some of your divorced friends have none of them.  Why is that?  Let’s look at three big dilemmas and examine how to keep you out of them.

1) Depression – just as losing a loved one can bring periods of  depression, when you divorce you can also fall into the depression well.  If you can afford it, talk to a counselor.  There are many therapists that one can visit, either from a local free-to-no-cost fee-based counselor, or, people can check their local wellness or civic center for a group or individual fellow-ship.  For those who can afford it, a qualified therapist in marriage counseling can be researched in your area over the Internet.  Be sure to check your local Better Business Bureau for any complaints.  Lastly, don’t be afraid to see if your health insurance plan covers any type of counseling—most do.  And if you choose this path, your insurance carrier cannot obtain information about the providers you choose to visit.

 
2) Loneliness – there are just too many things you can do about this, but sometimes you might need a push.  Maybe it’s time to stop whining to your closest friends.  Do something different!  Visit your sister or brother and spend some of that quality time you always promised.  Call your old college roommate and see how they are.  Ask a co-worker you know but aren’t lunch-close out for coffee or a drink after work.  Attend the parties you are invited to, even if your ex is there, take a friend with you.  Get a buddy.  This is the person you need that will give you that “push” you need compared to the TV and that one-hundred calorie popcorn you were going to eat for dinner.  Pick this person wisely.  It must be a person that won’t give up pushing you to get our there no matter what.  The best advice is looking in the mirror and saying, “If it’s gonna be, it has to start with me!

 
3) Financial Distress – If you’re okay on the money end, count your blessings.  Some aren’t.  For those who are and have no idea about anything financial, you don’t need to panic.  A friend of mine, who had never paid a bill in her entire marriage came to me with a brown grocery bag of bills.  I sorted them out and we made a budget, gave her lessons on how to write a check, pay attention to due dates and late fees, and soon she took control of this at a pace and plan she was comfortable with.  If you don’t have a friend or a family member that can help you, go to your local senior citizen’s center.  A lot of the residents offer free counseling in numerous areas—mostly because we shouldn’t count them out, they have experience.  If you are in a situation where you just can’t afford your bills or know what to do, you too can visit your local senior center to see if they can help.  Most towns and cities, even in rural areas, have many free programs in this area. Take advantage of them and ask how you can find them.  Your local library or newspaper is a good place to start.