Why Attraction Fades Before a Breakup

Rhonda was perfectly happy with Don. They seemed to be an ideal couple, and their marriage seemed as if it was made in heaven. After two years, however, Don began to withdraw. This upset Rhonda, and when she demanded to know the reason, Don simply told her that he “didn’t love her anymore.” Naturally Rhonda was devastated.

While the above incident sounds sad, it is quite common in case of a large number of couples who break up. Love is believed to be immortal. Yet, it obviously dies! Why does this happen? Why does the initial attraction fade? There are several reasons for attraction to fade. Couples can just as easily fall out of love as they fall in love.

High Ideals

This is the number one reason for attraction to fade. All of a sudden, you realize that your relationship lacks passion and your needs are not met. Your partner doesn’t appear to be the person he/she once was. Perhaps your idea of “true love” and romance is a bit too high for practical living. To keep the flame of love alive, you must be more realistic, down to earth, and practical.

Learning Shocking Truths

You might have thought that you knew your partner well before you married him or her or got serious about the relationship. But you can never know a person perfectly. You might suddenly discover that you partner is addicted to gambling or has sadistic tendencies or has a criminal record. This shocking truth can immediately extinguish the flame of love. After all, love is delicate and must be handled with care. A sudden shock of this sort can initiate a painful break up.

Inability to Face Reality

Let us face the truth. During the initial phases of our love relationships, we tend to show the best side of ourselves. We are loving, kind, and caring, and more attentive to the needs of the other. When we get more secure about the relationship, we drop our masks and show ourselves in our true colors. And the true colors need not always be attractive.

Suddenly, you partner is no longer as attentive as he/she once was. You have begun to notice flaws in your partner’s personality that you never thought existed. Feelings of attraction immediately fade, disappointment sets in, and you think, “this is not the person I loved.”

Be realistic! You will never find a perfect human being. We wouldn’t be human if we were perfect. Talking things out and coming to a consensus will deepen your bonds of love and prevent a break up.

Confusing Sex With Love

Many people mistake an overpowering sexual attraction to be love. Once the sexual urge is satisfied, you are no longer interested or attracted to the person. Love dies simply because there was no love in the first place.

Abusive Relationships

An abused person cannot retain the initial attraction he/she felt toward a partner. Abuse is the death knell of love, respect, and trust. When your partner’s behavior becomes intolerant and the relationship no longer serves your needs, attraction fades and your relationship breaks up.

How can you create a relationship in which you can retain your attraction for each other forever? Know your partner well. Find out what really attracts you to this man or woman. Do you really know everything about your partner? Finding the answers to this question should keep you out of trouble.